Friday 21 December 2012

Defining "Love"

I was reading an article by Ayelet Shimron, who is a motivational speaker. Her thoughts on love left such an impact on me that I decided to put down my thoughts right away-

"When it comes to love, we have this illogical conception of how love is suppose to ‘happen’"Since when did love come with an instruction manual? When we fall into love with zero expectation, there is absolutely no room for disappointment. We all like to believe that we are spontaneous creatures, but when it comes to love we enter into its mysterious domain with a structured vision of how each step “must” unfold. Doing this, we place limitations and standards on love; but love is by no means limited, nor is it defined by any standard. Love is not jealousy, or anger, or resentment.

For example, why do we get angry when our partner does not fulfill a certain task? The answer is simple. Because our expectations have been established, but they haven’t been met. Understand the secret of why many people find it difficult to achieve harmony in relationships. Because the woman wants the man to understand her needs and expectations, while the man, in return, feels unaccomplished for never meeting his woman’s needs. Thus, the man loses his motivation to even try. Remember, the rose blooms so beautifully because it is not trying to be a lotus. The lotus blooms so beautifully because it is not trying to be a rose. When we learn to accept the other rather than expect from the other, only then do we learn how to embark on this journey of love. It important to understand that ' Men comes from mars and Women comes from venus' We are two different species and expect different things from each other. According to various books and authors we need to learn to accept each other differently and change the way we look at things. I also realised that sometimes its the way we talk to each other that can reduce our quarrels and misunderstandings  If we learn to communicate our feelings and emotions in a right way, we can actually make life simpler and better.

We all get into relationships because we love to be have someone who accepts us the way we are in our lives. Its the connection or the spark between two people who binds them for life and gives them all strength to make their relationship work and last forever. We think of having a perfect life with no problems and issues but then that would not be the life I will want to live. Its a myth that trouble weakens the relationship, it makes us stand stronger when things go topsy and turvy. Let us call it "Love" which reminds us someone cares and will be standing with you to fight all troubles. We should respect what we have and what we feel because we as individuals tend to take our loved one's for granted. There nothing stronger than what we feel for our loved ones, it cannot be defined in words through any writers. Its the feelings and emotion which does the talking in love, a blind can also feel the same what we feel and infact there emotions touches the soul deeper than us. You dont need eyes, ears or hands to feel love, its the somethings which comes from within and grows with time.We may have spent years with our loved ones but those emotions and deep inner feelings always stays with you if they are true for each other. Its easier to get sexually attracted to anyone but feeling that love can only happen when you go through the lane which you thought never existed. The day you drive down that lane which leads to finding inner strength and love that is when we will respect each other and will learn to love more. That is when the negative thoughts will be replaced by positive views and unconditional feelings will flow it wherein the expectations will reduce.

"You must love someone, not because you want them to love you too. But rather, you love them simply because, you have decided to do so, with no regrets."

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