Dostana!

A Good Friendship stands the test of time

It is unbreakable in spite of the seasons which shine

It's the bond we share which binds us together

Life will be incomplete without each other

Every day adds to the memory we share

Our camaraderie is very rare

People get envious looking at our connection

They don't realize we are still the sensation

Whether is now or some years later

I don't see us going anywhere without each other

We pledge to stand by till we die

And commit to bring in smile without a lie

Let's celebrate another day for friends

And pray to the God to send all the blessing and love to them

Partners in Crime

When two individuals decide to tie knot

They simply forget how they use to get caught

It's the feeling which ties them together

Life takes a turn and nothing else matters

They become two bodies and one soul

And we see the love and camaraderie changing their role

We tend to see people changing for good

Now situations do not depends on our moods

Responsibility, Compassion and Trust are the building blocks

The relationship will taste like whiskey on the rocks

Taste of every sip is so refreshing and soothing

Our speculations come to end when we put are heart and soul in trying

Try to find good in everything you do

And marriage will guide you to make the first move

Leave your ego wars, apprehension and agitation behind

Your love will bring the serenity and help you rewind

Let your cards be out and open

King and Queen will turn out to be your pillars of love and faith

Celebrating 2-gether-ness

Its amazing to see yourself evolve everyday with someone
Every moment spent is like a lifetime
Soulmate are difficult to find,
But seems like I was lucky to have my soul- mate walk into my life
I wonder sometime what good did I do to deserve a wonderful person like you
May be its connection and spark which binds us
2-gether
Which most couple finds it difficult to hold it forever
You have been my inspiration and guide
And as you say you are my adventure
Wish we could spend coming more years 2-gether
And don't let this bond be broken
It's lovely to be with your best friend
Who understands you more than a lover
You can understand what I share with you
It's a feeling deep down inside you and me
Let's celebrate our 2-gether-ness
and #"Seize the Day" forever

Being "You"

I don’t even remember when the last time I did something which defined me. I have seen people talking like this mostly every day. In today’s scenario, people are working hard to be liked by others- could be liked by your boss/manager, famous friends, most admired colleague, your idols in life and the list continues. They don’t realise, this leads to disappointment and thwarting.

You are unique in your own way. It started for me when I was in my primary school. It was a trend to be part of the most happening group. Every other girl wanted to be liked by this group and wanted them to acknowledge them so that they feel accepted in the society.

I was part of this group. We were happening in our way and were known to be the naughtiest girls in the town. But for me, it was important to have my own identity and individuality. I did not want to be recognised as the “GnG” as we called ourselves in school. I was found of my girls but there was something more important to me.

And that was “Me”. I decided to be part of social club and sports team where I could build my confidence and explore myself in a peculiar way. I participated in mostly all annual functions and was a sports captain of my school.

It did give me a chance to interact with others and see how they treat me as an individual and not as a part of happening group. At that age, it was considered to be cool if you are in known group but for me it was finding myself.

Later when I joined college, things changed completely for me. I was from co -ed school and connected with boys more but weirdly I landed up in all girls’ college. Again the process of being liked by happening group started and infact this time it was aggrandized.

I just could not connect with most of them. In college, emphasis was given to how you talk, how you dress up, whom do you talk to more, what vehicle you drive? I was astounded to see as how these things were considered crucial for any kind of friendship.

But I started questioning myself, is that all you need to be someone’s friend. I had to stay away from college politics. So I joined western dance society and was recognised as a good dancer. I had my own fan following in college because of my dancing skills. I made some like-minded friends in my dance team and had a best time of my life.

Stories from my school and college had some influence on me and I want others to relate and think what matters to them.

· Learn to love yourself first, but not at the point of being conceited
· Love everything about you
· It’s often difficult to get others to like you, when you despise your own character and features about yourself.
· Try to communicate more with people you see in your vicinity. It will help you open up more and build in your confidence
· After opening up with others, you will feel much better about yourself and others will see you as a natural person.

The story does not end here. These were my growing up days. Next phase of my life started when I joined work. It was like rowing the boat in sturdy water. It was a new corporate life with defined dimensions. Initially I was quite apprehensive to try out unique ways but slowly I adapted myself to the environment. The more I got to know the people, the more it became difficult for me.

I saw everyone trying hard to impress their colleagues, seniors, managers or peers. And suddenly the same question popped up in my mind. Why? Is it so crucial for them to be accepted in this environment.

You are losing your own self while trying to influence others. If you have confidence and belief in yourself, everyone or anyone will like you. It’s a taboo, you have to be liked by others to survive in this society. I totally disagree with this concept. Often enough, we find ourselves in which we are intimated by people who we feel are either overly well-presented or simply better than us.

Sometime, this may lead a person to think they aren’t good enough. This is only true to a certain extent: after all , there is always room for improvement and nobody’s perfect.

Steps you can follow to learn to be yourself:

1. Accept who YOU are – If you learn to accept who you are, you will be the most content and happy person. You may not be beautiful, charming or intelligent person. But you are what it makes “YOU”. At the end of the day, what matters is what you think of yourself. If you are okay with yourself and you have given your best in your entire task. Then there is nothing to worry.

2. Find yourself – You cannot be yourself if you don’t know, understand and accept yourself first. Find time to dwell on what you value and makes up essence of who you are. Try to think what kinds of things you like or dislike. Spend some time with yourself and your passion’s in life.

3. Build your self-confidence – Once you accept yourself and find yourself. It will be easier to build your confidence. When we know what you want from yourselves and what is it you desire, all your senses will work towards its achievement leading to confidence in yourself. Always be aware of what you are good at and strive to improve what you feeling needs work.

4. Stop caring how people perceive you - If you respect yourself, people around you will also reciprocate the same way. Most of us, get drained thinking about what other think of us or perceive us. All those who matter the most will care for you irrespective of changes. Bring in all positivity and don’t let external factors affect you. What you can achieve with your confidence and belief other may find it difficult to try. In other words, be strong in your character and others can never pin you down.

5. Work on your sensitive nature – If you perceive yourself as being overly sensitive to criticism, then make an attempt to change your reactions to comments and events. This is achievable by simply reminding you that this is an opinion of another imperfect human being.

Oscar Wide once said : ‘ Be Yourself, Everyone else is already taken’. As humorous as it may seem, it’s a basic summation of the truth. Everyone is unique in his way. We just need to look for the things which make us complete, content and happy.

There may be lots of hurdles in life, people will come and go. Do not to change for anyone. Focus on learning from your mistakes and laugh at your imperfections. Keep a very positive attitude for everything around and distance yourself from negativity. Glorify the sunset or lose yourself in beautiful thoughts. This will keep you strong and sturdy in all phases of your life.

One of the biggest lessons you can get from life is to “LET GO” of things you can’t control. The next time you are tempted to rant about a situation, think wisely before reacting. Is it worth all that frustration and enrage.

Let someone love you just the way you are – as flawed as you might, be as unattractive as you’re, and as accomplished as you think you are. Yes, let someone love you despite all this, and let that someone be “YOU”.

You were born to be real, not to be perfect. You are here to be YOU, not to be someone else wants you to be. Stand up for yourself , look them in their eyes, and say

“ DON’T JUDGE UNTIL YOU KNOW ME, DON’T UNDERESTIMATE ME UNTIL YOU CHALLENGE ME AND DON’T TALK ABOUT ME UNTIL YOU HAVE‘VE TALKED TO ME”
Strength shows the ability to hold on and believing in oneself. It’s never too late to become what you might have been. Keep learning, exploring, adapting and growing . You might not be there yet but you are closer than yesterday.

Deceit of Lies

Life is full of lies

Being surrounded by precarious flies

Are people really candid?

Or they act like they are stranded

Looks like we have to get scrupulous to survive

Leaving the treacherous way behind

Wish I could change the way people behave

And not let our minds make us slaves

Thinking and worrying are our enemies

Got to find something which leads us to serenity

Everything around us is full of negativity

We have to allow our minds and hearts to find symphony

Once the murky clouds move aside

It will allow bright light of hope to reside

Sometimes I wonder what forms the dark cloud

Then I realise it’s our own thoughts who speak really loud

We don’t have to let it grow

Otherwise we will be struggling to plough

Let’s plant the seed of hope

So that we can pull our life with a sturdy rope

Bring in the peace around

Don’t allow your heart to drown

Life is full of verve, vivacity and vigor

We will find our way to heaven without any shivers!

"ARK" - Act Of Random Kindness

I was in primary school,when I first got to know the meaning of ARK. I remember, it was our moral science class and the teacher explained the word with help of a story. I heard the story and forgot about it the very next day. I guess,it never occurred to me till some days back.

How some people can selflessly do ACT OF RANDOM KINDNESS. Filling the water in a bowl in the scorching heat for birds, giving a piece of bread to a street dog, sharing your food with needy one's or even smiling at a stranger. Have you ever tried anyone of this. Naah, I don't think so. I am sure you would have given your left overs to beggars because you dint wanted to carry it home but not with the intention of actually sharing your food with someone.

I am not saying, I am the women you does act of random kindness all the time. Probably I also think on the same lines like everyone does. Because we are busy with our own stuff and don't get time for others. Others can be - animals, needy or helpless people, friends in need, nature,strangers or anyone for that matter.

But there are people with big hearts and they do think of others. I found it really amusing that a small incident changed my thinking. It was a busy Sunday afternoon, when I was in my neighbourhood market buying daily necessities. A small kid comes to the same shop and asks for biscuits.

He asks for the chocolate one's and quickly runs away. Suddenly I hear whistles behind me, getting distracted I turn around and I see this little kid surrounded by at least 5 street dogs and all of them wagging their tails and licking him all over. The next thing is, all his chocolate biscuits are gone. Yeah, I know you are thinking - Now what's good in this?

Henceforth, the question is if this little kid can share his food with street dogs with a smile on his face then why can't we just think of coming out of stressed life. Today we have created a life where we are drowning ourselves with negativity and trouble. It looks like a rat race to me where everyone is trying harder to reach to the top.

After that incident, lots of act of random kindness started coming in front of me. I saw my neighbour picking up a brick from the middle of the road so that noone gets hurt or tumble over. I never thought, he would do anything like that in his whole life.

In the bible, ARK means - "The ship built by Noah to save his family and two of every kind of animal from the flood". Infact there is a movie called - Evan Almighty, starring Steve Carell and Morgan Freeman which shows how the protagonist builds the boat for everyone and saves them from flood.

The idea is to bring some peace of mind, happiness and positive thoughts into your lives. We all know, this fast life does not allow us to find time for ourselves or to go out of the way for anything which is of no interest to us. So in order to find little happiness, lets try doing following act of kindness:

1. SMILE even to a stranger when your eyes meets his/her eyes. Trust me, the other will be shocked to see you smiling at him/her and will revert with a smile even if he/she had a bad day at work or home.

2. HELP whomever you feel needs it. You can help anyone walking on the road, in your vicinity, office premises, parking lots, park etc. It will give you a weird satisfaction in your heart.

3. RESPECT your servants, security guards, drivers or any other domestic helps. They will always regard you and believe me this will give you more happiness than shouting or disrespecting them.

4. GREET all your close one's everyday in the mornings. They could be your parents, grand parents, spouses, girlfriend/boyfriend, best friends, brother/sisters or anyone. Your mind will be embraced with the positive thoughts and you will have a good day.

5. LOVE FOR ANIMALS is what we have forgotten these days. Any animal- dogs, cats, horses, cows will revert to you if you show some love or act of kindness towards them. They can't talk like us but can love better than us. This act will make you a better human being and help you interact in a different way with others.

Lets get out there and bring some peace within ourselves and around us with just a simple ACT OF RANDOM KINDNESS.

Different People - Different Thinking, Different Behavior

Different people - different thinking, different behaviors.. I sometimes wonder why people behave in such a manner, which you dislike or you probably do not appreciate.. This is because, they are wired differently. Every individual has their own way of behaviors which comes from how they feel and think. Like, When I  go to work, I come across set of individuals I don't like or do not appreciate their way of conduct towards me or any other.  What do you think, will be my reaction? My body language will change and I will  ignore them whenever possible and may also build a negative feeling towards them. But is this behavior right?? It will do nothing to them but will bring all negativity around me and my thoughts will be filled with how much they affect me. At the end, you will be so affected that you will stop going to the places in office where they are usually present and you will also start changing your routes to office. But again, does this affect them? They don't even know that someone is so affected by their presence. You have to stop such things immediately. Try seeing others as they are and be normal to them.

 "Being nice to someone you dislike does not mean you are fake...It means you are mature enough to tolerate your dislike towards them"

We spend so much of our energy in figuring out what we "don't" like when our focus should be on what we like the most. External factors like other people behaviors, reactions, words should not affect us, if we maintain a healthy mind and heart. Other people can only affect our thinking when we let them affect us, we have to learn to control our emotions and change negative thinking to positive. Oh its easy as it sounds,every effort need to made to change this attitude. We all have read or heard or even seen "THE SECRET" by Rhonda Byrne who talks about laws of attraction. I genuinely feel that's how each individual should functions even if they are wired differently. We all have same size of brain, just how we think is how we feel and that's how we will behave. The moment we act mature, we become a calmer person and ignore most of the amateur reactions of others and trust me this will give you peace rather than frustration. If we react to other people juvenile behavior we will land up getting angry or even fueling ourselves again with lots of negativity. Have you ever thought "Why We Shout In Anger"

A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to take bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled'n asked.

'Why do people shout in anger shout at each other?'

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said,'Because we lose our calm, we shout.'

'But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.'asked the saint

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples.
Finally the saint explained, .

'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.

What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small...'

The saint continued,'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper'n they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other'n that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

He looked at his disciples and said.

'So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant, Do not say words that distance each other more, Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.'

Its beautiful to see how two individuals can connect at any level despite of being different to each other in all manner. The idea is to stay positive, bringing in peace by loving others and as said in Gita - doing some selfless service.

Let it grow....

This is for you baby,
So keep it to your heart,
The words that prove I've loved you,
Even from the start.
The day you caught my eye,
I could not look away,
Your presence alone,
Was enough to make me sway,
You entered through my eyes,
Into my heart you came,
Exuding all eternal love,
I'll never be the same.
I saw there was a spark,
Soon to be a fire,
Just to be alone with you,
Filled me with desire.

You learned to love my heart,
I learned to love yours too.
I think we were surprised to find,
Just what our love could do.
Unspoken words, I love you,'
Will surely be said,
Because I love you, baby.

This keeps running through my head,
Our love is like a roller coaster,
It's had its ups and downs.
I've smiled through the laughter,
And cried through all the frowns,
Please try to remember,
My heart is not a toy.
I need a man to hold it,
Not a little boy!

Lovely little miracles,
Perpetual bliss,
We better hold on tight,
Can't lose a love like this.
I look down at my chest,
Just to see my heart beat strong,
I never thought I'd say this...
But you've swept me off my feet!!
I love the way you look at me,
When you think that I can't see,
Believe me when I say this,
To my heart, you hold the key.
I love the way you kiss my head,
And pull me in real tight.
I love how you protect me,
Each and every night.

I feel like I'm the only one,
That you could ever hold.
I hope our love is never-ending,
If the truth be told,
Your appearance is perfection,
Your soul is divine.
I can't believe I'm yours,
I can't believe you're mine.
You fill me with such ecstasy,
You make me feel alive.
Into auras of magic,
Forever will dive.

Your arms are like my paradise,
Your eyes are like my bed,
Your chest always the perfect place,
For me to rest my head.
I feel as though our souls are touching,
Our hearts are holding hands.
Our eyes shared glances see,
What no one else understands,
Make me smile until it hurts,
And laugh until I cry.

This will last forever baby,
All we need to do is try,
Tell me that you love me,
And that I'm always on your mind.
I want to know that someone like me,
Is impossible to find.
You always know just what to say,
And exactly what to do,
There is no doubt about it,
I'm only me when I'm with you.
What we have is perfect,
But all is up to fate,
To see what will become of us,
I guess we'll have to wait,
I know we'll last forever,
There will never be an end.

But as the Good Lord takes us,
Hand in hand we'll go,
To the end of eternity
Wit more love to grow!! 

Golden Rules of Wise Living

What really matters in the end said, Gautama Buddha, is,
"How well did you love,
How fully did you live and
How deeply did you let go?"

All three are golden rules of wise living. Here, 'let go' means renouncing with full clarity and determination those aspects of life which are detterent to a full, wholesome life. Life goes on inexorable and before we can comprehend and appreciate its functioning and profundity, it is time for our exit. In our ignorance and our ego, we spend an entire lifetime trapped in negativities and self-defeating behavioral patterns. Broadly, we remain ensnared in endless desires, undue attachments, colored visions about others and the past and future.

"Letting Go" is a slow and arduous process that cannot be achieved overnight. As one traverses life and advances in age, experience and wisdom, the anomalies of one's life become lucid. Once identified, its easier to make a conscious effort to surmount them. Desire for wealth, power and fame never seems to satiated, leading to discontent, frustration and inner turmoil. The beauty of life remains untapped and life just passes by in a mindless pursuit of desires. A state of no- desires is verily an impossibility and tantamount to godhood. But we certainly work with full understanding on minimizing our desires and gradually relinquishing them.
We have a compelling propensity of dwelling in the past and brooding about the unseen future, thereby neglecting the present. Revelling in past glories or wallowing in self pity due to past tribulations is futile.
Past is a graveyard and the future, inscrutable. We need to abnegate them fully, only then we can seize the golden opportunities of the present and move on in life.

Largely our behaviors and beliefs are the result of mental conditioning. Our mind gets conditioned by our previous experiences with people and events and accordingly forges opinions which with time, ossify into convictions. An entire life can squandered in hatred and hostility towards individuals who do not deserve it. We are changing and evolving, flexibility in our beliefs and opinions are life- enhancing. We need to sincerely let go our prejudices, grouses, biases, anger, jealousies via reconditioning of our mind. This will be conducive to a healthy, equanimous life.
Our undue attachment to animate and inanimate objects can be painful not only for ourselves but for others as well. Who is not familiar with ephemeral nature of these objects? undoubtedly, wealth in certain measure is required for comfortable living. We do not have to abandon wealth. What we need to give us is greed and possessiveness for material objects. We need to relate to them with mental resignation. They should be means for life, not life itself. Paradoxically, wealth can be prerequisite for spiritual enrichment. It is only after our material needs have been taken care of and we are still unfulfilled that we choose to turn inwards.
Similarly, we should let go of our attachments to near and dear ones. Attachment is essentially selfish love. Attached parents may not permit their children to settle abroad, despite their growth prospects, because they need them in old age. Replace attachment with love which is pure and altruistic. Rabindranath Tagore said - "Love does not claim possession but gives freedom"

The moment you get too attached to things, people, money, your job you invariably screw it up! The challenge of life is to appreciate everything and attach yourself to nothing. When you chase things too hard they run away. Did you ever need to sell something, desperately? A car, a house, who wanted it? Nobody! So you dropped the price. Who cared? Nobody! The principle? When you are desperate, zilch!

Talk to any sales person whether they are in Lear Jets or laundry detergents, and they will tell the same story. Desperation pulls you into a descending spiral – and the more your worry, the less people buy! What happens when you are in a restaurant and in a hurry for your meal! They lose your order. Detachment is major reason rich people get richer. They do not care so much, they are not desperate.

On the mental and physical level, we are dealing with natural laws. Nature does not understand desperation! Nature seeks balance and you cannot be desperate and balanced. Life does not have to be an endless struggle. Let things flow. It is not indifference, it is neither forcing things

'Its complicated' - relationship status!!

Famous Philosopher "Ayn Rand" once said, before you say I LOVE YOU you should be able to say "I" with functional Idea and understanding of the "self". If the foundations are shaky then the "Love you" part gets more complicated than necessary.
The problem is with the styles of attachment one sees today, just as earlier, is that they cannot live without their lovers. Through this 'you complete me' philosophy, what you actually saying is ' I need you so that I can feel worthy of happiness and be complete'. Rather than that you should say ' I desire to share the existing happiness in my life with you'.Why do people force others to be relationship? Usually, the answer is an overpowering lack of belief in one's own ability to face the challenges of life. It renders a person incapable of a healthy desire for a partner. He or she would be rather desperate for a partner, and then cling on to a dysfunctional marriage. Yes. life does become convenient than before if you have a lover, but the idea that life becomes possible and worthy of living 'only with a lover' is a root cause of misery.
Generally speaking, since women are trained to look at at their male partners not as equals but as parmeshwars and thereby feel inadequate in their absence - they tend to see marriage from a completely different lens compared to men. This lens exaggerates fears related to loneliness and abandonment and depreciates people's belief in their own capabilities to deal with life challenges. The idea is highly in accurate and impoverished. But perceptions don't begin and end with gender- specific outlooks.Its also about self - belief. To elucidate the point - There was a couple who was married for 3 years and one day his wife decided to leave him and he got into severe depression. He said " I cant imagine my life without her. I will die if she goes away" I asked him, "Tell me, how did you live your life before your wife came into the picture"

The problem is that our notion of romance isn't always individualistic. Its mostly subjective to the person who is in our lives. Rarely do we see romance that's not attached to the object of our affection. That's wrong. Your romantic notion takes new forms when you meet someone you like. But it should not alter how you personally see love. Yes, people will always face problems in relationship, but to understand and deal with the problem better, you need to look at the love just from your point of view. If you let the subjectivity reality of what you are experiencing take hold over you or see love only in terms of what you feel for the person you love, you will end up changing not for the better the way you look at yourself.
Now on to the next question: Is it healthy to ignore red flags in the relationship? People ignore red flags in a relationship because of all sorts of reasons - Functional and Dysfunctional Reasons

Functional Reason - They look at the bigger picture and see the limitation or the bad habits of their partner are not defining characteristics, that they have many other values that can be loved and appreciated. they see the positives and create a holistic and realistic picture of their lover. To make your relationship functional one, ask yourself these questions in regard to your partner : Why does this irritate me? Why is this behavior a red flag? Which of my fundamental criteria are not being met? Are my demands legitimate? What standards am I judging my partner on? Can I not convert my demands into desires and abate my suffering?

Dysfunctional Reason - Sometimes, people accept misery as their fate. For them, the risk of finding happiness with someone else, or just by themselves, is to scary. It is strong and rear fear. So in order to avoid the fear of risk, he or she accepts misery. Their philosophy is "gaadi chalti rehte hain" or any which way marriage should survive. These fears can be magnified by situations where o there is high degree of economic and social dependency that makes people suffer but also the real danger of losing property and monetary means to survive.

Story of a Red Bag??? Hope, Faith and Luck!!

It was 14th February weekend when we decided to celebrate the day in Amritsar. It was one of his friends wedding too and we thought we could do two things at the same time but destiny had something else stored for us. Not like we got married or he proposed me, it was something trivial but adventurous. So the story starts when we boarded the train on 13th February and the coach was filled with all foreigners who were heading to Beas, Radha Swamy Ashram. A nice gentleman from Ecuador sat next to us and we chatted about his language, country, his reason to visit India and his family etc and then after sometime we both got involved in our reading.It was when Beas came and whole zing bang got of the train and I realized my red color suitcase was missing. I got up and searched everywhere when we realized it was too late and train started to move and we both had no option but to stay inside the train and wait for Amritsar station.We got talking about our next action immediately after we figured out that it was lost. It seemed like the luck was on our side that day because there was a station master in our coach who was traveling for his personal work to Amritsar. He guided us and asked us to make a call to "Dera" as called by all devotees of Radha Swamy. We started applying our brains to figure out where could have bag gone, was it stolen at some station or as suggested by station master it would have been taken by any one of the foreigners in a hurry since they were travelling in a group and no one would have paid attention in such a ruckus. We decided to make some calls to Dera, after go-ogling and making some 100 calls to varied control room, station master, different hostels we figured out only one thing that all foreigners stay at Hostel 6 at Dera. We made our final call to Hostel 6 and left our numbers, hoping if they find my bag somewhere in their premises.

So what do you think would have happened?? Its impossible to find a bag which had everything starting from jewellery, all wedding clothes, all personal belongings, footwear's etc. When I say everything it literally meant everything but hope and faith kept us going. I do not know how where we so positive and confident about my bag. I was tensed but confident, we both kept our calm and were focusing more on our further steps. Sometimes "Google" can do wonders for you, we were able to contact Dera, Radha Swamy ashram through our search on Google and somehow figured out where could have my Bag landed if it would have been taken by them. Finally we reached Amritsar and went to our friends house where one of his wedding functions were being conducted and since we were starving we ate our lunch peacefully and left for Dera. We were just playing hit and trail game, we were not even sure if we will find my bag but had some faith and hope with us. We left for our unknown and unexpectable journey of 1.5 hours to Beas. I was being quite and content, that's least I could have done rather than being tensed and worried to the extent of losing my patience. He tried his best to keep me poised and calm and left everything on luck and destiny. It was after half of our journey when I got a call from Hostel 6 warden (as they call in movies) and she started asking me to give details of my bag. This was a ray of hope for us because without my wedding clothes or anything else I don't think it would have been possible for me to be part of wedding. But this call made us believe in luck and destiny more, reason being we found my "LOST BAG". The feeling could not have been expressed in words, but it made us stronger and positive person.

It tells us whatever happens, be positive and have faith in things which will fall into place for you. Loosing patience and getting agitated will leave you as a frustrated person and you will land up being a negative person. This one incident taught me to be patient with problems and think positive because its thinking which makes us to what we are as an Individual. I decided to put this down on my blog so that people could relate to same and learn to be positive and have faith. This is just a small incident, we may come across bigger problem in life, we have to learn to be poised and composed to deal with all of them. Our mind plays a very bigger role in making and breaking us, so you got to know how to tame it and when to use in appropriate manner at the right time.

"You" gotta love "Yourself"!

We all know in today's scenario we gotta love yourself first and then respect others. You have to empower yourself by treating yourself with love and respect and making sure people around does the same. Its said however we will think of ourself that's exactly how others would also think of us. It works like mirror, you asks the mirror - "Who is beautiful" and the mirror replies "You". How can a mirror tell your true self and inner beauty, his reply is only to your outer beauty.

Its not about asking people how you feel or how you look, its what you have in you and what gives you confidence. Truth lies within each one of us, so go within. To know true reality turn off the TV, put away books on human psychology and close your eyes and sit with yourself. The first step isn't Being in a state of thoughtlessness, it's Being with yourself- whatever you understand "yourself" to be. If you understand yourself as a mind, observe your mind. If you understand yourself as a personality, get to know your personality. If you understand yourself as inner chattering, listen to the chattering. If you understand yourself to be energy, sit with this energy. Get to know yourself...whatever "yourself" means to you. We need to understand and get to know the mind, personality, ego, intellect, etc to know that there is a Being beyond all of this- the True Self.


When you know yourself via others, it is your personality-just a thin layer of opinions. When you know yourself directly, you know your individuality. And once you have known your individuality the fear of being left alone disappears. Loving yourself is mainly having self-respect which is the only dependable way to create love in your own life to share with others. When you expect love from an external source, and someone or something does not fulfill your void and fantasies, then you will feel worse than before. To be able to be loved, you must love and respect yourself as much as you do others. Understanding the effects of loving yourself will only enhance your ability to love others. By doing so, you are enabling positive energy and allowing for great situations to occur in your life. Never think that you're living your life for nothing. Everyday, there are people coming in and out of the world, so spend it wisely and respect yourself. Sometimes we feel as if our lives rely on that one person. We think 'If I do this, he/ she will like me. We tend to waste time avoiding those certain people, and regret it later. We miss them, yearn for their love, and even waste birthday wishes on them. "In order to love someone, you must learn to love yourself."

Gotta Find...

There are times when we meet some people in life
There are no connections but have a purpose
There are feelings which are not known to anyone
There are differences which are not yet discovered
There are situations which get them close
There are words which make them transpose
It's "US" who describes " Friends" in the world
But what is more important is knowing the unspoken language between them
It's build through the same wavelength
Discover the undiscovered "You" and let others explore what's new
This is how a strong relationship is build
I m still figuring out the missing element
It's the trust or faith which grow on each other or is the love which ties them together
I want this feeling to continue without knowing the truth
Let this linger on till we find our way to oour destination
I feel I m sitting in a plane who is fighting the turbulence
Our lives are filled with all ups and downs
Its our closest people who will stand by
We have some friends who grow up with us and some we meet while walking in our lives
Its our trust, belief and connections which binds them with us
We gotta learn to invest in these so that we can fight any obstacle with their support

Defining "Love"

I was reading an article by Ayelet Shimron, who is a motivational speaker. Her thoughts on love left such an impact on me that I decided to put down my thoughts right away-

"When it comes to love, we have this illogical conception of how love is suppose to ‘happen’"Since when did love come with an instruction manual? When we fall into love with zero expectation, there is absolutely no room for disappointment. We all like to believe that we are spontaneous creatures, but when it comes to love we enter into its mysterious domain with a structured vision of how each step “must” unfold. Doing this, we place limitations and standards on love; but love is by no means limited, nor is it defined by any standard. Love is not jealousy, or anger, or resentment.

For example, why do we get angry when our partner does not fulfill a certain task? The answer is simple. Because our expectations have been established, but they haven’t been met. Understand the secret of why many people find it difficult to achieve harmony in relationships. Because the woman wants the man to understand her needs and expectations, while the man, in return, feels unaccomplished for never meeting his woman’s needs. Thus, the man loses his motivation to even try. Remember, the rose blooms so beautifully because it is not trying to be a lotus. The lotus blooms so beautifully because it is not trying to be a rose. When we learn to accept the other rather than expect from the other, only then do we learn how to embark on this journey of love. It important to understand that ' Men comes from mars and Women comes from venus' We are two different species and expect different things from each other. According to various books and authors we need to learn to accept each other differently and change the way we look at things. I also realised that sometimes its the way we talk to each other that can reduce our quarrels and misunderstandings  If we learn to communicate our feelings and emotions in a right way, we can actually make life simpler and better.

We all get into relationships because we love to be have someone who accepts us the way we are in our lives. Its the connection or the spark between two people who binds them for life and gives them all strength to make their relationship work and last forever. We think of having a perfect life with no problems and issues but then that would not be the life I will want to live. Its a myth that trouble weakens the relationship, it makes us stand stronger when things go topsy and turvy. Let us call it "Love" which reminds us someone cares and will be standing with you to fight all troubles. We should respect what we have and what we feel because we as individuals tend to take our loved one's for granted. There nothing stronger than what we feel for our loved ones, it cannot be defined in words through any writers. Its the feelings and emotion which does the talking in love, a blind can also feel the same what we feel and infact there emotions touches the soul deeper than us. You dont need eyes, ears or hands to feel love, its the somethings which comes from within and grows with time.We may have spent years with our loved ones but those emotions and deep inner feelings always stays with you if they are true for each other. Its easier to get sexually attracted to anyone but feeling that love can only happen when you go through the lane which you thought never existed. The day you drive down that lane which leads to finding inner strength and love that is when we will respect each other and will learn to love more. That is when the negative thoughts will be replaced by positive views and unconditional feelings will flow it wherein the expectations will reduce.

"You must love someone, not because you want them to love you too. But rather, you love them simply because, you have decided to do so, with no regrets."

Strong-willed, Steadfast,Strong Minded Women - 6th March 2012

This article is not about Women Empowerment or Atrocities on Women. This focuses on three words which describe a “Women “– Strong willed, Steadfast and Strong Minded. These words sounds really nice and but do you think today’s society accepts them and let them breathe in the environment. I m writing this because I want people to change their thought process and see the reality.

Today we talk about the society changing and accepting Women as strong person and allowing them to take their own decision related to career, marriage and preferences in life. But my question to all women is - Are they able to sustain it for longer? Are they able to follow their passion or ambition in life? Or do they only work for economic independence?

We all know it’s important for couple’s to work simultaneously to run the house, raise their children, and have a luxurious life. But why do they miss out on the emotional dependence, not on each other but on oneself. My focus is on having emotional stability to make a healthy living and prosperous relationship by just incorporating some positive thoughts and strengthening their emotions by handling difficulties in life.

Going back to the second paragraph, I feel Women always land up compromising on most of the things and ignoring their passion in life. But some manage to follow them and inspire others to do it too, I will want to throw some light on some experiences in my life which helps me think differently and makes me a strong person.

During my school days, I was always a tomboy and enjoyed being a sports captain. Everything I did was mostly with boys – could be playing volley ball in the sun, one –on – one in basket ball or just hanging out. But as I started growing up, things started to change and people started seeing me as different person. We all grow in different phases of life but do you think our motives (underlying behaviour) always remain same. The answer is yes, it does. I meant, today I may be changed women with a successful corporate life, good set of friends and family but what I had when I was a child or what I liked as a child will always be my passion.

I can say all this because I have experienced it in my life, I always liked adventure sports and have experienced that adrenaline rush but was never able to proceed further.But today I can proudly say I follow what I like and what I believe along with my work. It’s just stepping out of our comfort zone and finding right kind of people who will motivate you and guide you through the right way and show you what you are capable of in life. Being a women, we can get scared for zillion of things but at the end of the day you are what you are and considered equal in this society. It’s our strength and patience which takes us to places and we as women have more perseverance and endurance to perform any task.

I experienced all these or rather learnt about myself from Rock Climbing. I started this in March 2011 and this has shown me what all it needs to achieve and what all it needs to execute. We think these extreme activities are not for women because it requires strength but that’s a wrong perception everyone has about such activities.

While climbing, I met a women named Archana Sardana who came with her kids for Rock Climbing and I was shocked to know that she was one of India’s few women skydivers. Today this homemaker, wife of a Naval Officer, has become India's first and only woman B.A.S.E jumper (Jumping from Buildings, Antennas, Span and Earth (Cliffs), officially one of the world's riskiest extreme sports, with a single parachute (no reserve parachute) and very little time to react for emergencies. “The freefalls last for a couple of seconds, after that it is a question of how you fly your canopy. It’s definitely far more exciting than skydiving and infinitely riskier. Infact it is real daredevilry”, says Archana

I was amazed to know that she started BASE jumping 4 years back and have been really passionate about it since then. You learn a lot from these adventure activities, it could be related to some qualities that are required to succeed in every walk of life. It’s important for women to learn and imbibe such qualities. The qualities may include leadership, team spirit, passion, learning to never give up, self-confidence, humility, empathy, responsibility, learning to be one with nature, etc.

Another woman I admire is “Gul Panag” she is a women with Beauty, Brains and Boldness. She does what her hearts tells her to do without being bothered about anyone else. I m completely influenced by such kind of women because they show how important is to believe in ourselves to perform any kind of activities.

I m not suggesting that every women should get into adventure activities to figure out their deep sense but it’s a way to show that there are various activities which can help you build your self- confidence in you. There are many women in different field who can be our inspiration to guide us through right path. We just have to figure out where our passion lies and what do we like doing or probably what do I see myself doing in next 5 years. It could be being an entrepreneur, following dance or singing which you left behind, writing a book etc.

It is possible to do it with your normal routine or your corporate life, first figure out what have you been missing all this while or what is that you left behind after your college. Then figure out where can you go to practise those activities, accordingly dig out an hour a day for your passion. My emphasis is more on women because they tend to suppress their feelings and ambition for family. I only want them to dig out sometime from their busy schedule so that they land up respecting themselves which in return help them to be emotionally stable.

I can continue writing to help women find themselves but I want each individual to figure out their own interest, strengths and weaknesses. This will give more internal peace, support and confidence to live a prosperous life.

I read it somewhere that “You cannot keep a good women down” - something that you say which means that a person with a strong character will always succeed, even if they have a lot of problems.

Finding Friend - September 2008

I don't know when I got close, think it started when we all use to sit between rows
Life was fun at that time when everything done was never a crime
I dont know when things changed and everywhere I could feel the rage
The only person who stayed with me was my friend,
who taught me that life never ends
I dont know how things will be going ahead in life but all I know is this that this friend will stay with me
Its you who make me feel special and every time it reminds of time which they were unforgettable
Its you who was there for me like trunk attached to the tree
Its the tree with the trunk who faced all seasons
and it will be you and me who will stay without a reason
It love, care and affection which shows there is definitely a connection
Its the unspoken words which we understand
Hope this relation faces all problems and withstand

LOST - March 2008

Its a beautiful night with the vain in the heart
or is it emotions of life which have torn apart
Cant understand if its Night or Vain?
Suddenly hears the thunder and it began to rain
Nothing seems clear, not even roads
Roads which led to heaven are now carrying loads
Its difficult to find truth of life
But at the end its human being who is born to strive
There always a ray of hope
which makes life a roller coaster with sturdy slopes
Its neither the night nor the vain
Everything just lies in the brain
Its upto us how we see things
Before every warning god never forgets to ring
Its the society who do not understand the emotions
and never pay adherence to each other actions
They are people with no heart and feelings
and rise like stems while creeping
Where has the innocence gone
I can only hear the cry and moan
Eyes of a child searches for truth and purity
and soon he will realise that there is no equality
I wish if life could have changed
I would rather be the child who could never see beyond his range

ENIGMA - Dance for Life - December, 2006

Dance, Dance was our life and passion
which we always feel was like our profession
Team Spirit, dedication and determination was our motto
Spending all years coming for practice in auto
First day when I gave my auditions
My senior where shock to see my actions
Then we became seniors and carried this team to higher position
All other around us were jealous of our progression
Now we have juniors which no more are juniors but our friends
and without them we all feel our enigma will come to an end
Finally days have arrived for us to bid goodbye to the team
which shows we have put lots of efforts and hardwork in this stream
The only thing I say in the end
- " Always keep the stage on fire and never let "ENIGMA" retire
Love is what all I give and tell the whole world that without this I wont be able to live.......

Unknown Calling - 21st August 2007

There is someone up there who listens to you
and shows his image like droplet formed by dew
No one has even tried to understand him
and keeps on committing all kinds of sin
People try to find him outside, but they don't realize that he is sitting right inside.
He lives in the heart with an unknown soul
who keeps performing all kinds of role
His main role is to tell every human being not to live in vanity
and should try finding out life's reality
The person which is talked out here is someone no one knows
He is like a warrior fighting in the war with his sword
I compare him with a warrior because he  listens to every person's problem's
and keep fighting till he ends the problems who fights with the sword till the war or the life is over
This is when I understood that the someone up there has a divine power
and this is he who shower his blessings which makes each individual strong to carry them all life long
He is the one who holds our hand and makes us walk on right path
like a teacher who teaches the child a subject for instance called math
There will be lots of teachers which will teach us maths but there will be only one teacher who will makes us understand
This unknown enlightens the light inside us which provides our mind and heart some rest
when he keeps his hand on our head
All the troubles and worries comes to an end
He is an idol of true love and generosity
and wishes for his disciples and followers all kind of prosperity

Vicious Circle - 7th May 2006

Life is a vicious circle,
which keeps on turning up and down until it sees a miracle.
There are lots of atrocities and violence all around,
which requires a covering or a power to surround.
My guru born on this earth gives the outer covering,
and talks about the courage and strength in every human being
Satguru gives the knowledge and wisdom,
which is like a soldier fighting for freedom.
We, as people have not understood the real value of life
Its only our Satguru who makes our life worthwhile